1. |
Escape
04:04
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I still shiver from December’s cold
Early summer sun shines through the window
Filtered through my blurry sight
A daze has settled in my lonely mind
I close my eyes and wish to escape
From a place I thought heaven has made
Embraced by chaos, far from home
Emptiness has sunken deep into my bone
Blind to the colours the sky holds above
So, I cut my eyelids to catch a glimpse
Of what was promised behind the haze
I fooled myself, starring into space
Infinite depth under my feet
Makes me falling endlessly
I’ve grown accustomed to the fear
That if I hit I’ll disappear
Now as the sun is gone
I found my peace
In the darkest shell
Of my grief
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2. |
Skin
04:05
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December’s face, always a lonely place
The rain is falling on the window
Of the house we once called our home
As I could see myself dying in your eyes
I crave to follow my own reflection
I’m aching for your touch but I know I’m lost inside your arms
I could see myself dying in your arms
I crave to follow my own reflection
I’m aching for your touch but I know I’m lost inside your arms
When will I understand that these stupid fucking words won’t bring you back
You won’t stand here first row as I say these words
You won’t smile anymore because I wrote about how much I loved your eyes
There’s nothing good about writing about you anymore
Because I’ve finally understood that nothing make you stay
I tore myself apart every night the past 4 months
But the blood in my veins is not enough to keep us alive
And I’m a human shell where you used to live in to overcome the cold
Every time I hear your voice through the hallway
I’m torn between flying and falling
And I swear I hear you calling
But it’s only the sound of my hands dragging on the ground
Breaking all ten fingers to not fucking call you again
You can see the bones through the flesh
To let you know that I’ve been really trying to get you out of my skin
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3. |
Abandoned
02:09
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The silent cold lies heavy on my skin
Your voice is vibrating between my ears
Igniting the spark safely kept in my palms
The calm before the storm
Like waves paranoia is crashing in, pulling me under
I’m drowning in the lakes of my nightmares
As I try to get my feet on solid ground
I realize it’s deeper than I ever thought
In panic searching for the escape
But all lights have abandoned my eyes
I can’t see past the eyes of my reflection
And with every breath I wither
Your absence has been defining
The hell inside my head
My mind is trapped inside a vicious cycle
My body is numb
I can’t see the light
Even though it’s burning right through my eyes
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4. |
Blank
03:23
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Like an invisible cloud raining down on me
Visualized on my skin and bones
A constant pressure in the back of my head
Filled with a void, sore hands, tired eyes
Disappearing between stranger faces and subway lights
Trying to hide from judging eyes
Telling myself the same old lies
Let me rest my head
When I lay in bed
Cause I’ve been living with that sinking feeling
Since I’ve started breathing
Can’t imagine a life behind the dark
The only thing that keeps me pushing
Is hoping that through the cracks in my mind
There might be shining light some time
I drove past our house cause you haven’t been home for days
Our love was slowly fading, quietly the train tracks sing
My name remains a blank in your heart
So, let me dissolve as my last part of art
See you on the other side
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5. |
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I wake up at 2.30 in the night without you by my side
Pour down another glass to fall back asleep
But I’m scared of the nightmares that I have nearly every night
For the last 26 days
Although the pain is burning a whole into my stomach
I admit that I somehow crave for that bitter sweet taste
It remembers every single kiss of yours
But it draws circles on the back of my hands
So, I hide them inside my pockets hoping you won’t notice
But the blood under my fingernails stains blue into dark red
I grit my teeth cause I can’t simply escape hell
So I’m pulling myself through the dirt day by day and night by night
Drowning in my own mind, convulsing with every breath
I tear myself into pieces to keep the light alive
As you left I pulled out tooth by tooth
cause my words couldn’t make you stay
I don’t deserve the soft skin of your lips
but neither I do deserve the hell inside my head
As your lips are too afraid to speak your eyes are crying the truth
And I can feel my bones cracking under the weight of the world crashing down on me
The world turns its back at me and you watch me fall apart
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